Perfect Pickup Lines

Nice shirt, It would look really good on my bedroom floor in the morning.

That shirt is very becomming on you, But then I would be cumming if I were on you too.

I hate when you leave, but I love to watch you go.

Hey my shoes are having a party, why don't you tell your pants to come down?

Do you work for UPS, because I could a swore you were checking out my package!

Did you know we are all naked under our clothes?

Hey baby. Im sweet... want to taste?

You've got the whitest teeth I've ever cum upon.

Hey that's a nice dress, but it would look better wadded up in a ball next to my bed.

I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle.

Mean people suck , but nice people swallow. Which one are you?

I may look fat but I have an ass like a jackhammer.

Baby, I'm not Fred Flinstone, but I could make your Bedrock.

Baby are you from Tennessee cause your the only Ten I see!

Hey babe, I have 50 million dollars, can I deposit somthing in your vault!

Your lips are like wine and I want to get drunk.

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

Do you like your eggs scrambled, or fertilized?

Screw me if I'm wrong, but don't you wanna kiss me?

Hey are your parents terrorists? Because your the bomb!

You must be a butcher, cause I love the way you handle my meat.

Is your father a baker? Because you've got great buns!

Hi! My name is pogo, want to jump on my stick?

The only bone I like in your body is mine!

You know, I might not be the best looking guy in here... But I'm the only one who's talking to you.

Do you have a quarter because my parents told me to call them when I find my wife.

Come over and sit on my lap. we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.

Can we play train? You can sit on my face and I will chew chew chew.

Hello my name is x remember it because you will be screaming it later!

If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.

18 Site Reality Megapass
a buck a day trials 

Why don't we add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide our legs and multiply?

Hey baby, why don't we go behind a rock and get a little boulder?

Love your dress but, it'd look better on my floor.

I lost my phone number can I have yours?

Hey girl, I was wondering, can I make you fat for nine months?

Would you like to come over to my place for sex and pizza? Or just sex?

Baby, are those moon pants you're wearing? Cause your ass is out of this world!

I don't know what you're saying but it's making me horny.

Uou want to see my jumbo jet?

Hi, I'm a gynecologist and I give free exams.

Nice legs. When do they open?

Could I name your legs? The right leg will be Christmas and the left leg will be called Thanksgiving. 
Now can I come and visit you between holidays?

Your father must have been a thief because he stole all the stars from the night sky and put them in your eyes.

Your legs must be tired cause you have been running around my mind all day.

Oh excuse me I thought that was a braille name tag.

If I told you, you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? Would you?

Hey baby, the word of the day is "Legs" so lets go to my house and spread the word.

Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?

Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a socket for my pocket rocket, would you?

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight?

Your name must be Daisy because I want to plant you.

Baby I melt in your mouth not your hands!

Those are nice panties you have, I wonder how long it will take to pull them off with my teeth.

Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven.

There is a party going on in my pants and your the guest of honour.

You have 206 bones, how would you like 207?

You must be a horrible person because God took all your beauty and used it for the outside.

Can I borrow your number cause I lost mine.

My dad said never talk to a stranger so can I have your name.

18 Site Reality Megapass
a buck a day trials 

I sure like what you're wearing... can I talk you out of it?

Yo baby, you can be my dairy queen, and I'll be your burger king. You treat me right and I'll give it your way.

Hey baby do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk past you a second time?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You look good,
Let's go screw.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'cause I can see myself in your pants!

I have a heart condition. It seems to get broken a lot. You wouldn't happen to have a cure for me would you?

Someone better call the police 'cause it's got to be illegal to be that good-looking!

Hey Baby, You've got me licked! Now it's your turn!

If you were a train I would slip inside your caboose and ride you all over.

If you were a bank I would make a deposit, and then withdraw.

Girl you must be a parking ticket because you got fine written all over you.

If you were a plumber you could empty my pipes all day!

You're too smooth. I think you need a hump!

Are you jogging or are my eyes vibrating?

I'll take a piece of anything that you will give me.

I'll massage your tush with a gentle push.

How many women do I have to kill to get your attention?

What time is it? Well, we've got to hurry, we've only got a few more minutes to be the 
fastest couple to fall in love in history!

I hope you're not Jewish! Cause you need a little pork!

Roses are red,
Pickles are green,
I like your legs,
and whats in between.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonalds... They'd call you McGorgeous.

Just call me milk cause I'll do your body good.

Excuse me I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a big breasted bed thrasher, have you seen one?

If you're going to regret this in the morning we can sleep until the afternoon.

Excuse me do you want to fuck or should I appologize?

You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Hi, I'm a necropheliac, so how good are you at playing dead?

You must be Jamaican, cause you're Jamaican me crazy.

So what time do I wake you up in the morning?

I brought you this rose so the rose would know what real beauty is.

If you were blue and I was yellow, my favorite colour would be green.

Baby do you know CPR? because everytime I see you my heart stops.

You are as beautiful as the venus de milo... except you have arms.

Are those erasers in your bra or are you just happy to see me?

I didn't kow angels flew so low.

If I had the power to creat the perfect woman, I'd leave you just the way you are.

I could poke your eye out from here.

Excuse me, I was just admiring your lung capacity.

I'm looking for a lovely successful business woman whose hobby is housework.

I'd marry you tomorrow if we could have the honeymoon tonight.

Hey baby I'm a missionary and I'm looking for a position.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Do you want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

That's a nice smile you've got, it's a shame it's not all you're wearing!

Hey baby, what's your sign? Mine's 'Slippery When Wet'.

Is your name Gillette? 'cause you're the best a man can get!

There's only one letter missing out of my alphabet! And that's U!

If you held 11 roses in front of a mirror you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

Hi I'm a Painter and decorator. Would you like me to white-wash your cervix?

If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

Hi! My name's milk, and I'll do your body good.

I know that milk does a body good, but how much damn milk you been drinking?

Girl you look so good. I'll put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!

I wish I had a swing like that in my backyard.

Tomorrow morning, do you want me to call you or nudge you?

Excuse me, but could you give me directions? To where? Your heart...

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?

Excuse me Miss, is that dress felt?... Would you like it to be?

If I follow you Click here for Home Page, will you keep me?

I've got the ship, you've got the harbor... let's say we tie up for the night?

You know you might be asked to leave soon, you're making the other women look bad.

Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.

Hey, Baby, I've got the Jordan River in my pants so come on in and get babtised.

So, When does your centerfold come out?

Excuse me, Miss, I believe you dropped something... my jaw.

Are you greek? Because I thought all goddesses were from Greece.

Is your personality as pretty as your eyes?

You look too good to be alone.

If looks were money, you'd be rich.

Lets play lion, get down on your knees and Ill throw you the meat!

Lets play dog, get down on your knees and Ill throw you the bone.

I lost my virginity... Can I have yours?

I'm new in town. Can you give me directions to your apartment?

Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on!

What do you like for breakfast?

Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes!

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh!

Are you over your ex-boyfriend? Can you get over me sometime?

Hey, are you hiring? I really need a blowjob, but I'll take a handjob if one is available!

JOKES INDEX

 

All Reality Pass
Coeds Need Cash
Blind Date Bangers
Big Tit Patrol
Big Leaque Facials
16 Site Reality Megapass

 

All Reality Pass
Busstop Whores
Horny Spanish Flies
I Spy Cameltoe
Chew Asian Beaver
16 Site Reality Megapass

 

All Reality Pass
Bang My Wife
See Her Squirt!
Teeny Bopper Club
Black Adventures
16 Site Reality Megapass