What a Doctor says, what he means



"This should be taken care of right away."-----"I'd planned a trip to Hawaii
next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it
cures itself."

"Welllllll, what have we here..."-----Since he hasn't the foggiest notion of
what it is, the Doctor is hoping you will give him a clue.

"We'll see."-----"First I have to check my malpractice insurance."

"Let me check your medical history."-----"I want to see if you've paid your
last bill before spending any more time with you."

"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."-----"I'm playing
golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time." -or- I need the money, so I'm
charging you for another office visit."

"I really can't recommend seeing a chiropractor."-----"I hate those guys
mooching in on our fees."

"Hmmmmmmmm."-----Since he hasn't the faintest idea of what to do, he is trying
to appear thoughtful while hoping the nurse will interrupt. (Proctologists
also say this a lot.)

"We have some good news and some bad news."-----The good news is he's going to
buy that new BMW, and the bad news is you're going to pay for it.

"Let's see how it develops."-----"Maybe in a few days it will grow into
something that can be cured."

"Let me schedule you for some tests."-----"I have a 40% interest in the lab."

"I'd like to have my associate look at you."-----"He's going through a messy
divorce and owes me a small fortune."

"How are we today?"-----"I feel great. You, on the other hand, look like
hell."

"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."-----"I'm writing a paper and would like to
use you for a guinea pig."

"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."-----"I don't know what the
hell it is. Maybe it will go away by itself."

"That's quite a nasty looking wound."-----"I think I'm going to throw up."

"This may smart a little."-----"Last week two patients bit through their
tongues."

"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we?"-----"I can't remember your
name, nor why you are here."

"This should fix you up."-----The drug salesman guaranteed that it kills all
symptoms.

"Everything seems to be normal."-----"I guess I can't buy that new beach condo
after all."

"I'd like to run some more tests."-----"I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe
the kid in the lab can solve this one."

"Do you suppose all of this stress could be affecting your nerves?"-----He
thinks you are crazy and is hoping to find a psychiatrist who will split fees.

"Why don't you slip out of your things."-----"I don't enjoy this any more than
you do, but I've got to warm my fingers up somehow." -or- "I haven't had a
good laugh all day."

"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."-----"I've never heard of
anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week."

"There is a lot of that going around."-----"My God, that's the third one this
week. I'd better learn something about this."


JOKES INDEX

 

All Reality Pass
Coeds Need Cash
Blind Date Bangers
Big Tit Patrol
Big Leaque Facials
16 Site Reality Megapass

 

All Reality Pass
Busstop Whores
Horny Spanish Flies
I Spy Cameltoe
Chew Asian Beaver
16 Site Reality Megapass

 

All Reality Pass
Bang My Wife
See Her Squirt!
Teeny Bopper Club
Black Adventures
16 Site Reality Megapass