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Things not to say to a Cop
When pulled over for Drunk Driving
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!!
Gee, and I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad cop! No Donut!
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "Cops"?
Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too.
I was trying to keep up with the other traffic. Y
es, I know there is no other car around, that's how far ahead of me they are.
What do you mean, "Have I been drinking? You're the trained observer!
When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?"
Respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating
doughnuts?"
...when pulled over for speeding
Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
Want to race to the station?
I know I was weaving, but I had to hit all the little green men!
On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.
You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
Are You Andy or Barney?
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
I pay your salary!
Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?
How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?
I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
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