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The Official Booty Call Agreement
This
Booty Call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement")
is entered into on the _________ day of _________, 2005, by
_______________________, between ____________ and ______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over -- unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in
the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the
evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM -- we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit -- only mind-blowing sex
allowed.
5. No emotional discussions -- Ex.: Where are we heading with this?
Do you
love me? The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance -- that is why you are called the
"backup,"
unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a
one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted -- money is always good.
8. No baby talk -- however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your
damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" -- we are not
friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing -- I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when
you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex -- it's over, so get your ass up and
go
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it -- I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My
roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style preferred -- just hit it hard, or get the hell out!
18. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better. I don't want
to look at you, just fuck you.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME -- so don't keep
calling.
20. Bring your own drink -- I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please -- don't want anyone calling back looking for your
ass. (*67 doesn’t always work)
*** EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS***
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement.
If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement,
it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from
the BOOTY CALL LIST, deleted from phone memory and email list BLOCKED from
all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating partners:
Signature:________________________
Signature:________________________
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